caregivers tips

Anyone who has lost a loved one knows that the road ahead is a challenging one…to say the least. For many, it feels like an eternity to cope with the emptiness especially when you have been a hands-on caregiver. What seems even more hopeless is the thought of moving forward and getting back to a normal routine. And part of this is making sure you’re taking care of you and your health.

I have a friend who recently lost his elderly mother. His parents had been married for over 50 years. His father was the main caregiver and is having a very tough time adjusting to the emptiness of living without his life’s partner. He’s experiencing insomnia but at the same time doesn’t want to get out of bed. He’s lost his appetite and when he is hungry, it’s just too much trouble to get something to eat or drink. This is all too familiar for many people who have lost a loved one. In many cases, seniors become the caregivers to their spouses, parents to their terminally ill children or friends are caring for friends. Before and after the death of the loved one, the caregiver is often mentally and physically drained.

In my friend’s case, his mother battled a life-threatening disease for a decade. Her death was not a surprise, but none the less, left her husband feeling devastated. If you know someone or you yourself are experiencing a loss, keep this in mind. It’s hard to eat well or even have the desire to eat at all….that’s normal. And especially for seniors, as you get older it’s tougher to maintain a good diet. Caloric needs decline with age but the need for certain nutrients increases. When you couple this with the loss of a spouse, the stress can wreak havoc on your body…sometimes without you even knowing it.

Things like drinking water during the day are forgotten. Going without water can initially result in mild signs of dehydration like dry mouth, lack of energy or loss of appetite. Severe effects of dehydration could result in rapid heart rate, dizziness, and headaches. These physical effects of dehydration are easy to pass off as symptoms of the emotional experience of the loss. But it’s important to remember that a severe case of dehydration could send you to the hospital.

Try these nutrition tips that are nourishing and don’t require a lot of effort.

1. If you have leftover casseroles or meals that people have prepared, have a neighbor or friend help you freeze these in individual portions. Be sure to date and label what’s in the container and any special instructions you need to remember. Meals that you can pull out of the freezer and thaw, heat and eat are great when you just don’t have the mindset to fix food.
2. Because your mind may not be up for cooking an intricate dinner, keep things simple—but nutritious. When the neighbors casseroles get sparse, make a grocery list of basic, simple, easy to fix items such as:
   1. Your favorite fortified whole grain cereal, whole grain bread and whole grain crackers. There is nothing wrong with a good healthy bowl of cereal with skim or soy milk, a peanut butter sandwich or whole grain crackers with cheese or peanut butter. Don’t forget granola bars or other healthy bars with nuts, soy, or dried fruit. I’ve been known to eat cereal for dinner numerous times.
   1. Nuts such as cashews or almonds are easy to snack on. Plus you can find nuts mixed with dried fruit and even the occasional M&Ms. Small packages are available now for almost everything so you don’t have to keep as much food on hard.
   2. Eggs are simple to hard boil or cans of tuna or chicken breast make easy sandwiches or can be eaten with your crackers. Even microwavable mac and cheese is very easy. There are many brands available, some with individual pouches for several meals.
   3. If you feel like cooking, look for bags of fish or chicken with individually wrapped portions that you can freeze and pull out one at a time.
   4. Low-and non-fat dairy products such as yogurt, milk or low-lactose milk, and soy milk are all good sources of protein calcium and other nutrients. Some companies like Kraft make ‘cracker cuts’…cheese that is ready to put on a cracker.
   5. Bright-colored vegetables such as carrots and broccoli now come in small packages and even individual portions (think kids’ lunchboxes) so you don’t have waste.
   6. Dried fruits use to mean raisins but now you can find blueberries and cherries, most any fruit you like. Also keep a small amount of easy-to-eat fruit such as apples, bananas, grapes, berries in season or pre-packed cut up fruit on hand. Fruit has a high water content and helps to rehydrate the body.

Besides nutrition and health, many other factors are part of the grief process. You will find terrific resources available online to help you. Check out The Hospice of the Florida Suncoast. Click on ‘resources and support’ or ‘are you caring for someone?’ This site has a lot of good information and will guide you to other credible sites as well. Also take a look at the National Hospice & Palliative Care Organization (NHPCO). The Hospice of the Florida Suncoast and hundreds of hospices across the US are members of NHPCO. Another rich source of information for caregivers is Caring Connections. I hope these tips help you get through this tough time.

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